So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Those nachos came to me in a dream
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
