I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
