Duck Duck Cougar?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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