i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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