I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
