Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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