I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
