So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize