summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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