Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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