at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
The adults are the big ones right?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
