On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
