It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
