If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
