Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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