i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
