they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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