It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
