You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
