he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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