Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
