If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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