So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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