what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
