**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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