so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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