Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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