Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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