He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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