Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
