I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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