sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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