You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
