bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
