i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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