What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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