You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
