youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
