Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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