Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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