3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
