operation have a gay friend backfired
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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