Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
This toilet bowl is my home.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
