i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
