Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize