she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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