Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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