don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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