when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Dick very happy bro
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
