...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
