Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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