Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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