What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
