Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Less talking, more tequila
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
my liver is dry heaving
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
