I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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