You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
